The pain of rejection

Candidates who have applied to attend SAIS Bologna will be told next week if they have been accepted or rejected.

This post is for those fell short.

Rejection is more than a fact of life. It is an enduring feature, a constant challenge, not always predictable but as sure to come about as the four seasons in my home town of Buffalo, New York.

You know when you stretch yourself that there's a chance you'll fail. But it still hurts when you don't succeed.

The Irish writer Samuel Beckett put it well: "Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better."

Consider these failures:

• Abraham Lincoln lost in his first try for the Illinois legislature, lost in his first attempt to be nominated for Congress, lost in the senatorial elections of 1854 and 1858.
• Albert Einstein did not speak until he was four years old and did not read until he was seven.
• Van Gogh sold only one painting in his lifetime.
• Winston Churchill failed sixth grade.
• Elvis Presley was told by the manager of the Grand Ole Opry in 1954: "You ain't goin' nowhere, son. You ought to go back to drivin' a truck."
• James Joyce's "The Dubliners" was rejected by 22 publishers.

Some readers of this blog will receive an email next week saying they have not been admitted for next year. It's little solace to be told that it's a competitive process, that we have to be selective, that it's not the end of the world.

How about looking at it this way:

• You've given it your best shot, which is the best you can do. If you haven't done your best, what could you have done better?
• Have you learned something about yourself along the way? As I've said before, it's not the destination that counts but the getting there. 
• What were your strongest points along the way? What are the areas you might work on?
• Are you as sure as when you started that a master's in international relations is for you? If so, and you have other options, then you have that choice. If you don't have other options, you can start anew and be a stronger candidate if that's what you want. Or perhaps you've decided in the end that you'd like to do something else.

While rejection does hurt, you knew when you applied that admission to SAIS is competitive. You may want to know the reasons you fell short. I think you deserve an answer if you ask the question. We will try to respond to anyone who does ask, although please keep in mind that we are very busy these next few weeks.

Facing the truth can be hard. I remember well a conversation I once had in a hotel in New Delhi, India, with a senior manager for the company I worked for, who very candidly and in excruciating detail laid out my faults. He did it so I could learn. As I trusted him, I listened and learned.

Over time, each of us builds a track record of success and failure. 

Consider this: Michael Jordan was once cut from his high school basketball team.

Even the high and mighty know defeat.

Tomorrow: Weekly quiz

Nelson Graves

Welcome

I'd like to extend a warm welcome to the U.S. candidates who have been admitted to the Bologna Center for the next academic year. It's been a pleasure following your candidacies, and I look forward to welcoming you in person for what -- judging from the experience of 6,500 of your predecessors-- will be a momentous year for you in Bologna.

Some of you may be wondering, "Candidates have been admitted? I haven't heard anything!"

A word of explanation. U.S. citizens and permanent residents who want to attend SAIS Bologna apply through the Admissions Office in Washington. The admissions procedure and timeline are a bit different. Candidates were notified earlier this week.

Non-U.S. citizens who want to go to the Bologna Center apply through SAIS Bologna. The Bologna Admissions Committee will be meeting at the end of this month, and decisions will be communicated to candidates in early April.

So this post is aimed at those of you who learned earlier this week that you have been accepted to SAIS with the possibility of studying at the Bologna Center starting in the fall.

(I actually don't remember the day I learned I had been admitted to SAIS Bologna. That does not mean it was not an important moment for me. It's simply buried in the mists of time. In hindsight I can say the SAIS experience changed my life. Some of our readers will already know that SAIS was the springboard for my career as a foreign correspondent. The first stop on that career was covering international finance in Washington. Without my two years at SAIS, could I have made a serious stab at that job? No way.)

Enough personal stuff. Those of you who have been admitted -- congratulations and here's to your future.

A couple of housekeeping matters:

• Admitted candidates, whether they passed through the DC or Bologna offices, will have many questions. Before turning to email or the phone, please read your admissions packet carefully. If you don't find your answer there, do feel free to contact the appropriate office.

• There will be an Open House for admitted candidates on Wednesday, April 13, at SAIS Washington. Information on this is in the admissions packet.

• On Thursday, April 14, there will be a reception at SAIS Washington for Bologna Center alumni. Those of you who have been admitted to SAIS Bologna will be invited to the reception. Not everyone lives near DC. But if you've been admitted and are nearby, come meet SAIS Director Kenneth Keller, alumni and fellow admitted candidates at the reception. (I'll be there too ...)

• On May 5 & 6 in Bologna, we will be holding an Open House for admitted students. Again, not all admitted candidates live near Bologna. But if you can make it, we'd love to have you here. More information will be made available later.

I can't help thinking about those candidates who were not offered admission. I could say a lot of trite things: It happens. Don't take it personally. Keep a stiff upper lip.

But I won't. I do intend, however, to offer a post soon on rejection -- and how to get the most out of it. I know a thing or two about rejection. I'm almost an expert. So I hope my thoughts will be helpful to those who took the trouble to apply, whose desire to attend may be every bit as strong as those who were admitted, but who fell short. Let's make the most out of it.


Nelson Graves